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What you should never say to your ex

Top ten things you say that you may live to regret

By Stacy D. Phillips, Author and Certified Family Law Specialist

In this third segment of my ongoing series of "Top Ten List" recommendations on what not do and what is best to do as you make your way through your divorce process, I have detailed suggestions on what you ought never to say to your ex.

It is natural and typical to want to blurt out hurtful barbs when you are frustrated, angry or deeply hurt, but very often, in looking back, you can easily feel a tremendous sense of remorse for losing your cool or saying things that were better left unsaid.

While some of the top ten lists have been playful and humorous, this particular segment takes a more serious approach to my admonishments.

Though you may know of other things one should never say to his/her ex, the following are the statements I believe are most classic or popular:

10. I was never in love with you.
9. You look like hell.
8. The kids can't stand you.
7. Everyone I know is so glad we're getting a divorce.
6. Good luck finding someone who would want you.
5. I only married you for your ___ (money, fame, body, prestige...)
4. I was cheating on you all along.
3. You were never good in bed.
2. I can't believe I ever married you.
1. You're not their father. (Toward women: Their Stepmother is their real mom).


Stacy D. Phillips is a certified family law specialist and author of Divorce: It's All About Control—How to Win the Emotional, Psychological and Legal Wars (ExecuProv Press, 2005—now in its fifth printing). Phillips represents business executives, entrepreneurs, homemakers, and high net-worth individuals, as well as celebrities in the music, film and television industries, including noted personalities in sports and politics. She can be contacted at (310) 277-7117 or by email at sdpdissoqueen@plljlaw.com. View her Divorce Magazine profile online.

*CV, BV, and AV are registered certification marks of Reed Elsevier Properties Inc., used in accordance with the Martindale-Hubbell certification procedures, standards, and policies. Martindale-Hubbell is the facilitator of a peer review rating process. Ratings reflect the confidential opinions of members of the Bar and the judiciary. Martindale-Hubbell ratings fall into two categories - legal ability and general ethical standards.